


oh, ms believer

by heavydirtymigraine



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: M/M, Song fic, joshler - Freeform, reality shifting, there's reference's to self harm so just, this is more fluff than anything but it's also a song fic so, this is not how reality shifting works i know but for the sake of the fic that's what i'm calling it, tread lightly, you can guess what song it is lol
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-04
Updated: 2021-03-04
Packaged: 2021-03-16 22:54:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,454
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29832147
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heavydirtymigraine/pseuds/heavydirtymigraine
Summary: tyler's home is in the snow.-in which tyler show's josh how he's coping and josh doesn't understand.
Relationships: Josh Dun/Tyler Joseph
Comments: 2
Kudos: 8





	oh, ms believer

_please take my hand, we're in foreign land_

_as we travel through snow, together we go_

_-_

when tyler finally came to josh about everything, he didn't expect him to understand.

he went in to it completely knowing his best friend was going to be confused about what was happening. knowing that josh wouldn't be able to comprehend what tyler was trying to explain to him.

josh definitely didn't understand.

-

it was june. more specifically, the seventeenth of june, and the duo were sitting in their favorite coffee shop by their apartments. josh had just finished work and met his best friend there for their weekly coffee date.

tyler was wearing long sleeves and quiet, as usual. josh knew he was going through some stuff and respected him enough to not try and push on the matter. he'd struggled with it since they'd met, eight years ago, when they were thirteen and in the lunch room at their middle school.

they opted to play on their phones and enjoy each other's company. josh was exhausted from his shift at the music store in the middle of the city, and tyler was too sad to even begin to try and talk.

it was when josh finished his latte (a medium hazelnut with three pumps sugar, to be exact) that tyler finally shut off his phone, sighing and rubbing the side of his head with his hand. he looked at josh, who was setting his coffee cup down, and opened his mouth to try and speak. nothing came out, and he shut it again.

josh looked over at tyler. "you can say whatever you want, you know." 

"i know." tyler's voice was soft. he was looking down at his own drink - plain coffee with two splenda's - and debating something. josh couldn't quite figure out what.

"what is it?" josh finally asked again. 

"i don't know how i'm supposed to tell you this." 

"i know you're bad again." josh's voice was quiet as he looked at his best friend. "i know." 

tyler nodded, still avoiding eye contact. "i'm sorry."

"why? there's nothing to be sorry about. "

"i miss winter." tyler said suddenly. it had always been his favorite season, josh knew this, despite the fact that it worsened his mind and he always struggled with it.

"i know, tyler." 

they didn't say another word until josh checked his watch and realized he'd had to go. he had a family obligation and was going to be meeting his parent's for dinner. 

"i'm sorry, ty," he was saying as he was standing up to throw his cup away. "you can come over this week, yeah?" 

"yeah." tyler nodded. he didn't have a job due to his mental state, so he was always free whenever josh wanted him. "i'll see you in a few days." 

josh smiled warmly, and tyler stood up too. they moved towards each other to hug, a warm, inviting one, and neither of them wanted to let go.

"love you, man," josh said quietly. "be good to yourself, please," 

tyler nodded into josh's shoulder. "i'll try." 

-

it was their next weekly coffee date that josh knew something was up.

"what is it, man?" josh had asked as they sat down at their usual table. tyler was wearing long sleeves again, but a scarf as well this time, which was worrying the blue haired man sitting across from him.

"i figured out how to do something." tyler said quietly. he had an air around himself that made him seem proud in a way. 

"what's with the scarf," josh was treading on careful waters. 

tyler smiled at him and held out his hand. 

cautiously, josh took tyler's hand in his own.

"close your eyes." 

josh looked at tyler for a moment, but tyler was staring at him still with that proud aura swirling around him, so josh did as he was told and screwed his eyes shut.

he felt pressure all around him. then, cold.

"what the fuck-" josh pulled his hand away from tyler, opening his eyes. he was alarmed at what he had just felt, but even more so at the scene in front of him.

they were still in the coffee shop, but it was nighttime now. it was snowing outside. they were alone.

tyler was standing up, a huge smile on his face, reaching his hand out to josh again. "come on, we have to go outside," 

"tyler, what the fuck is this?" josh was panicking now, looking around frantically. something felt very wrong. very, _very_ wrong and he couldn't put his finger on what. he didn't know where he was or how he'd gotten here.

"come on!" tyler was moving out the front door of the coffee shop. josh was following behind him as fast as he could go, terrified to be left alone.

"where are we? what's going on?" josh was calling out to tyler, who was running down the empty street with more vigor than josh had seen in years. the snow was cold against his arms as he chased after his best friend, following so to not be left behind. 

"i made this!" tyler shouted back excitedly, throwing his arms out and swirling around to look at josh. he was out of breath, but with a grin on his face so wide he could've split in half. "i made this." 

"what- _what?"_ josh shouted, stopping in his tracks. "no, this isn't possible," 

tyler was staring up at the sky, arms still outstretched, laughing. laughing so hard josh thought he might collapse.

"i don't remember how i did this when i first did, but i figured out how to keep doing it-" 

"tyler, _what is this?"_ josh was calling out as he trudged through the snow on the ground. it was only a few inches, but just enough to slow him down in combination with the flakes that were falling. 

"it's reality shifting-" 

"what?" 

josh had vaguely heard of the term before. he recalled it was mostly used by his hippie friends that smoked too much pot back in his freshman year of college, but hadn't heard anything beyond that.

"this is home." tyler spoke softly, eyes gleaming, as he finally looked at josh. "this is my home." 

"tyler -" 

"stay with me," 

"take me home, _now,"_ josh was finally reaching tyler, and he reached out and put a hand on either of his best friend's shoulders. "i don't know what this is, or how you're doing this, but i'm fucking scared, man," 

"close your eyes." tyler gave josh a warm smile, who complied immediately.

they were both back in the coffee shop when josh opened his eyes.

"what the fuck?" josh spoke aloud, causing a few people in the shop to stare.

tyler was grinning at him again like a madman. 

"tyler," josh spoke cautiously. 

"you were there with me," tyler was speaking now, sitting back down in his seat, bouncing his leg. "you were there." 

"how did you do that," josh's breathing was becoming uneven. he was having a panic attack, in a coffee shop of all possible places. just what he wanted. "i don't - how did you," 

tyler's face fell when he saw the blue haired man bury his face in his hands. "josh," 

josh shook his head, and tyler reached out to touch him. 

"don't." 

"i'm sorry, i thought you'd like it-" 

josh's head snapped up and there were tears in his eyes. "whatever the fuck that was, i don't- i don't ever want to go there again." 

"i'm sorry, i-" 

"you couldn't feel it?" josh spoke suddenly. his hands were trembling. "you didn't feel how wrong it felt-"

"it felt like home, josh." tyler said softly. carefully. "i don't know what you're talking about-" 

josh pushed the chair back and stood up, grabbing his phone off of the table. "i have to go." 

"josh, please-" 

"just give me some space, tyler," josh huffed out. his shoulders were shaking too, now. "i need to process what just happened," 

"no, please," tyler was standing up, his hands in the air as a defense mechanism. 

"i'm sorry." 

-

three months had passed since the incident. it had taken a couple of weeks for josh to respond to tyler after it had happened, and tyler hadn't left him alone in the time it took josh to answer his texts. 

josh hadn't been able to stop thinking about it, in all honesty. that feeling that he had felt while they were wherever that place had been hadn't left him. it was lessening, but he was still always feeling that same dread. gnawing at him.

in those three months, though, tyler had admitted to josh that he had very much enjoyed josh's company over the past eight years and that he was potentially enjoying it more than he initially had.

thankfully, josh had never wanted to admit to tyler he'd felt the same way for the past year or so. 

their coffee dates resumed as actual dates, now, and they linked hands when they sat at their table instead of scrolling on their phones.

it was almost october now. the world was getting cold and tyler's mind was getting worse with each dropping degree. josh was worrying about him more, now that they were boyfriends and no longer just best friends. long sleeves were still common and josh knew that tyler was still doing whatever he had showed him a few months prior as tyler was often still wearing scarves and not responding to josh for days at a time. 

tyler had brought it up a couple of times. he was still doing whatever he was doing (josh still hadn't been able to pinpoint it despite searching through both the clear web and the dark web, _multiple_ times) and assured josh that he was of no harm to anyone, including himself. he was safe.

josh was still hesitant.

they were sitting at their usual table sipping on their normal drinks when josh finally spoke about it again.

"i'd like to go back." 

tyler's head shot up from his coffee cup so fast he'd almost dropped it.

"what?" confusion.

josh stared at his boyfriend. "i'd like to go back."

"home?" tyler spoke softly, questioning about josh's apartment. 

"no, _home."_ josh mumbled out, setting his own cup down on the glass topped table. tyler stared at him for a moment before it clicked. "you said that - _it,_ felt like home." 

"it is home." tyler said quietly, staring at the cup in front of him. his tone had shifted just enough for josh to sense that he'd felt embarrassed speaking about it.

"how is it- how's it home, tyler," josh found himself pressing on the matter despite having not wanting to talk about it for the past three months. "i'm here. your family is here, that's an empty wasteland full of despair-" 

"it's the most comforting place i've ever been." tyler interrupted. "that place is... where i want to be." 

josh noticed the earmuffs that were intwined with tyler's scarf. he was planning on going back there soon.

"take my hand." tyler spoke softly. "let me show you." 

josh lifted his hand, hesitating for a moment. he stared down at his own hand and then stared at tyler, who was holding his own bony hand out as well.

"trust me?" 

"always." josh spoke softly, connecting their hands and intertwining their fingers. 

"close your eyes." 

-

they'd returned three times more since then, each trip growing longer than the previous. 

they were currently standing in what seemed to be a perpetual three and a half inches of snow despite how heavy the flakes were falling. they were walking through their home city of columbus in the middle of the roads and twirling around in the snow. traffic lights blinked and snow twirled around them as they walked.

tyler was wearing his earmuffs again. he didn't wear them often unless they'd planned on being there for some amount of time and they'd decided that they wanted to explore the city.

josh had finally started dressing warmer for their visits. 

the snow was dampening all the noises from around them, which wasn't much to begin with. pedestrian crosswalks were beeping at them as they approached the suburbs towards their old childhood homes.

"this way," tyler spoke for the first time since arriving that night. josh didn't particularly enjoy how it was always nighttime, but since tyler had enjoyed it so much, he had grown to accept it. the dreadful feeling he'd experienced the first time still nagged at him, but he'd come to chalk it up to all of this being tyler's way of escaping from the rest of his mind. he couldn't clear it out entirely.

josh's face was buried in his scarf as they'd finally entered a dated cul-de-sac and headed towards the end of it. tyler's house was sitting at the very end, staring at them with all of the lights off. 

they stopped when they were in front of it.

"i love you," josh had finally spoken aloud. he'd finally had the courage to after four months and sixteen days, and he had wanted it to be here. 

tyler didn't acknowledge it, and josh felt a mild sense of alarm before realizing that tyler _couldn't_ hear him due to his ears being covered.

josh felt a bit more comfortable knowing that he'd said it but tyler hadn't heard.

"let's go in?" josh spoke, louder now, causing tyler to look over. his nose was bright red, and there were tears in his eyes.

"i can't." he said softly. "i'm not allowed in places i don't know." 

"that's your home, ty," josh said, placing a gloved hand on the small of tyler's back. "you can go in." 

"it's changed too much. i don't know it anymore," tyler spoke. "that's for another time." 

as suddenly as he had finished speaking, he took off back down the road and raised a hand over his head, turning his head over his shoulder to yell out, "come on! let's go back downtown!" 

josh furrowed his eyebrows and followed after tyler, leg's running with all their might to catch up to his boyfriend that was sprinting away from him. 

tyler had been right, there was a comforting vibe about all of this. he didn't want to go too often, certainly, but the comfort was such a foreign feeling that he was just beginning to accept it.

he finally caught up with tyler and linked their hands as they slowed to a walk. 

"we have all the time in the world." tyler spoke. "let's go slower, yeah?" 

"yeah," josh agreed. "let's just walk." 

-

_we get colder_

_as we grow older_

_we will walk_

_so much slower_


End file.
